Take me, if I come back someday a scarf for your fringe
 Cover my bones with herb baptized from your pure heels
 And tighten my hands‪ with a tuft of hair, with a thread waving at the tail of your dress ‪ .. ‬
 Put me, if I come back, a fuel in the fire of your kiln
 A clothesline on the roof of your house
Because I miss the stand on your daytime prayer
 Mahmoud Darwish [An Arab Poet]

 Bahrain Mirror (Exclusive): Ahmed did not know that he would be the fuel to his mother's stove in every sense. He was the fire his mother set herself to on the roof of their house whose sanctity was violated by the tyrants.

That fire started to burn Badriya’s heart, since her son Ahmed had been arrested in April 2011, Badriya was no longer that woman, and her soul has completely departed our world.

The Ominous April
 On the third day of that ominous April, the young man Mohammed Tarif turned to to his friend’s house  Ahmed Mushaima when he was chased by the repressive authorities The intelligence services discovered it. Badriya had an appointment with visitors of the dawn "Sanabis neighborhood filled with mercenaries from beginning to end” A witness said.

According to the pattern described by Mr. Bassiouni in his report about Bahrain, heavily armed masked men stormed Mushaima’s house, broke down the door, and headed to the hall, grabbed Ahmed's head and kept thumping it to the wall, and the air conditioner. They did the same thing with his friend. Badriya and her daughter came out afraid; mercenaries took Ahmed and went to his mother.

In front of Bardiya, the mercenaries took a plank that had nails protruding from it, and hit Ahmed. The face of her sonwas soaked in blood, the more he cried and told them I did not do anything the more they beat him. Ahmed fled from their hands to his mother's lap!  But Mercenaries pulled him and yelled at his mother and sister. “Leave him or we arrest you too. We arrest women as well" They raised their arms and shouted at Badriya. “You shelter terrorists! Don’t speak, don't or defend him."

It was hard for Badriya…
At a distance of 10 houses, Badriya screams were heard. The mercenaries wreaked havoc in the house (in their own systematic way) scattered and smashed the furniture, and before they got out they wrote on the wall "long live Khalifa."

It was hard for Badriya that her son sought her lap shelter, but did not protect him. Like other thousands of mothers, she slapped on her head, and sobbed into tears. But she was not to bear that. She was crying throughout the week non-stop. Suddenly she stopped speaking! She remained like that for days. She locked away her tears and talk.  Her neighbors came to visit her, but she no longer recognized them, "Everyone in the neighborhood knew her, she was very social, and a permanent attendee at the funerals," says her daughter Zahra.

Days later, the news came that several detainees fell as martyrs in the jails. "My mother was about to die when she heard it". Fear and anxiety took control of Badriya’s heart. She suffered a severe psychological disorder that impacted on her cognition.

"She has become obsessed, she walks the street,  stands suddenly, and then back down, as if she doesn't know the way, or doesn’t know where to go" one of her neighbors said painfully. During that period a grandson was born for the family. She did not have any expression or reaction, her feelings completely froze, only a broken heart.. She would lower her head and drift away; her mind was with Ahmed, “What on earth did they do with him?”

Imaginations of Crackdown
 Since the first day of their house raid, she was screaming "my son died, my son won’t come back." Throughout the month and like the rest of the detainees, she did not know anything about him. She slipped into imaginations fraught with anxiety. She wondered, "They tortured him in front of me, so what would they do with him in jail?“

Ahmed’s brothers searched for his detention place. They moved from a police station to another without any result. No one knew anything about him; just like the rest of the detainees of "National Security" [The martial law imposed from mid of March 2011 until the end of May 2011]. In May 2011 someone from the Criminal Investigation Department (CID) contacted the family and asked them to bring him clothes.
That was the only piece of news about Ahmed in two months, and the place of his detention and situation were completely unknown. After the state of emergency, in June, his family was allowed to visit him. The first visit was in the (CID).

The fence barrier prevented Badriya from even touching her son. She looked composed in front of him despite an unrelenting urge to hug him, while she remembered that scene. Once she reached the car, she entered in a wave of wailing, she returned home carrying a more ruined spirit.

Obsessions of oppression
 With the beginning of the work of the Commission of Inquiry, specifically on August 8, 2011, Ahmed was released. She threw herself upon him and hugged him.  "Her joy was indescribable, she emerged from the depression and despair completely" Her daughter Zahra said.  In this country neither the victim nor the criminal could get rest, after less than a month a subpoena from the court reached Ahmed.
Badriya had not got much serenity and tranquility, as if it was forbidden for the mothers of our people. Her broken-heart returned strongly. She always preferred to stay alone, and often said: "There is something inside of me and I cannot get it out." Whenever she remembered Ahmed, anger dawned on her and became more silent and dominated by a deep depression.

Gasp of despair
 Badriya experienced periods of anxiety and anticipation. How much her heart was tired and burdened with worries! How difficult it was to describe that! Above all, and like the oppressed in this country, Badriya experienced a situation that aggravated her severe relapse.
She was returning from a funeral, when she was pursued by a battalion of infantry of riot police at the village, she hurried her pace in walking and was full of panic. Those forces did not distinguish between a man and woman, or between the elderly and young.  She got home in extreme horror.
Since that incident Badriya’s case began to get more complicated. She got startled by any sound, and would remain gasping and trembling. She got more obsessed, heard voices of the troops storming her house. When she heard the voice of the police at Sanabis area, her health would deteriorate remarkably, and would think " they are coming now to hit, kill, and to take Ahmed."

And a bit of death
 The family was very worried about Badriya after that incident. Her psychological state had aggravated immensely, and began to reflect on her health "She began to suffer a condition when she couldn’t move, she would freeze in her place, later she would say something was heaving on her chest” Her daughter Zahra said.
No longer would she afford to bear all that oppression and psychological torment. She became vocal and spoke out publically that she wanted to get rid of her life. The family decided to take her to the psychiatric hospital. She took her first session on October 25, 2011. The doctor described her illness as severe depression and she attended hospital for treatment.

During that period, the news was coming in for a trial of some of the defendants, including Ahmed's friend, Mohammed Tarif, who had hidden in their house. Tarif and his friends were sentenced for 15 years in the case of "Cutting the tongue of a muezzin," which Bassiouni’s report proved that it was fabricated.

Let them kill me
 Days later, Badriya tried to commit suicide, she gulped clothes bleaching, but her end had not come yet "When a person gets shocked by a problem that they cannot bear, they suffer a breakdown, that shows all those symptoms”  Dr. Taha Derazi (Surgeon Consultant of brain and nerves) said. He added: "That is classified as nervous breakdown that led to acute psychological trauma which is the most difficult of psychological problems."

Badriya’s family suffered a lot of harassment because of the title of "Mushaima" [Mushaima is a leading figure in the opposition who has been sentenced to life in prison]. Her son Ahmed was tortured more than the others because of the name of his father, "Hassan Mushaima", although his charge was not more than "providing a cover-up for a wanted".

Recently, Badryia’s daughter was stopped at a checkpoint at Salmaniya Hospital which was occupied by the military, Badriya got hysteric " they will take all my kids, Oh My Heart. I cannot afford it anymore, let me go to the police, let them kill me". Those were Badriya’s last words.

Badriya’s fire
 Badriya was worried that she would see one of her children dead or tortured. Her heart was burning and the fire was raging out of fear of the unknown, the thing that always chased her just like her imagination. Badriya would not wait the tyrants to violate the sanctity of her house again, would not wait to live in a world of submission and obsession as rogues wanted her to be, and would not wait to see her son again taken from her lap soaked in blood.

She decided that fire would not remain inside herself.  She went to the roof of her house, and drove out that fire under the sky so people could see how that fire was blazing inside her. In the ambulance, she said painfully to her daughter: "Please forgive me, my daughter, take care of your brothers and sisters".
Badriya burned herself in a replay of the scene of Mohammed Bouazizi who blew the Arab spring. The difference is that injustice and frustration was the drive of Bouazizi, but the thing that urged Badriya was despair of justice, security and tranquility.

She was scheduled to see the psychiatrist on 17th of this month. "Al Khalifa killed my mother," shouted one of her children during the funeral yesterday. "We planned to arrange Ahmed’s marriage, but my mother said no, my daughter, wait until we realize our victory” Her daughter Zahra said.

Badriya burnt herself, was unable to live longer, because the power of brutality weighed on her chest. Yesterday, many people said: “Badriya is the mother of all of us, when do you raise the injustice off the people, and prevail for Badriya?”